quote of the day (October 13, 2008)

Well, NASCAR week here at QOTD was a pretty big fizzle, huh? Two quotes in five days? Pretty weak, even by QOTD's lax standards. But most of our readership probably doesn't give a damn about racin', so really we were just doing you a favor.

You're welcome.

In sad recent news that everyone has already heard, the great actor and philanthropist Paul Newman passed away on September 26. While many will remember his on-screen roles in classics such as Cool Hand Luke, The Sting and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, our favorite role was when he showed his harder edge as minor league hockey player/coach Reg Dunlop in 1977's Slap Shot.

As the hockey season has just begun, it seems like a good time to use Slap Shot as today's quote. And if you haven't seen it, buy or rent a hockey stick, and cross-check yourself in the face. Once you've regained consciousness, go watch the movie.

Here's the opening scene (don't worry - no spoilers!) which should be a good intro to both the movie and the world of hockey penalties for our southern readers:



In a later scene, Dunlop (Newman) discusses the Charlestown Chiefs' newest acquisitions, the Hanson Brothers (pictured below) with the team's owner, Joe McGrath (Strother Martin):

[after meeting the Hansons]
Dunlop: "Oh you cheap son of a bitch. Are you crazy? Those guys are retards!"

McGrath: "I got a good deal on those boys. The scouts said they showed a lot of promise."

Dunlop: "They brought their f***in' TOYS with 'em!" (The Hansons are playing with their slot-car racing set in the hotel)

McGrath: "Well, I'd rather have em playin with their toys than playin with themselves."

Dunlop: "They're too dumb to play with themselves. I've done enough s**twork for today. What did you trade for them, a used puck bag? Boy, every piece of garbage that comes into the market and you gotta buy it!"

McGrath: "Reg, Reg, that reminds me. I was coachin' in Omaha in 1948 and Eddie Shore sends me this guy who was a terrible masturbator, you know, couldn't control himself. Why, he would get deliberate penalties so he could get over in the penalty box all by himself and damned if he wouldn't... you know..."

Two fearsome sets of Hanson brothers.

quote of the day (October 6, 2008): NASCAR week begins!

Exciting days here in the greater Charlotte area, as NASCAR roars back into town this weekend. Although the October race has a significant decrease in fanfare and festivities from the more popular Memorial Day Coca-Cola 600, it's still a lot of fun. Especially the fact that you can bring coolers into the stands. With beer! What a wonderful country.

The mountains win again. Your hangover? A distant third.

Even MORE fun for those of us in the quotation game are the many dubious auto racing movies that we'll be able to quote this week, building up to the weekend's race.

From the most obvious NASCAR-related movie, 1990's Days of Thunder, Cole Trickle (Tom Cruise), new NASCAR driver and Dick Trickle's illegitimate son, discusses race strategy with his crew chief Harry Hogge (Robert Duvall):

Harry: "Cole, you're wandering all over the track!"
Cole: "Yeah, well this son of a bitch just slammed into me."
Harry: "No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... he rubbed you. And rubbin', son, is racin'."

Ryan Newman, consider yourself rubbed. (Ryan Newman = favorite driver of the J-Dawg, the official girlfriend of QOTD)

quote of the day (September 25, 2008)

We did a bowling quote last Thursday to commemorate the start of the fall season for The Official Bowling Team of QOTD (TOBTQ), Business Time. Since we were off traveling to an out-of-town quoting convention, we missed out on our team's 8-0 evening.

But, to get ourselves fired up for tonight's festivities, we've got a couple of other bowling-related quotes from the only TV show ever to feature a combination bowling alley owner/lawyer, NBC's Ed.

From Phil Stubbs (Michael Ian Black, very famous), one of Ed's employees at the bowling alley:

"I never liked kids. They're like small drunk adults."


And, from a scene when Ed (Tom Cavanaugh) is speaking about being a lawyer to the students in the class of teacher Carol Vessey (Julie Bowen):

Carol: "Does anyone have any questions for Mr. Stevens? Warren?"

Warren Cheswick (Justin Long, the annoying Mac guy from the commercials): "Yeah, I was just wondering, umm... when you invite a client over to your office for the first time, and they see that it's, like... in a bowling alley, or whatever... umm... are they ever, like, 'Thanks, but I think I'm gonna find a lawyer whose office is *not* in a bowling alley,' or..."

Ed: "It happens. Sometimes."


And finally, a clip from the show, showing one of Ed's $10 bets with his best friend, Dr. Mike Burton (Josh Holloway) at the bowling alley. A bonus for St. Louis Rams fans in the QOTD reading audience - the song in the background is Todd Rundgren's "Bang the Drum All Day", which used to play at the Dome when the Rams would score touchdowns. We're not sure anyone knows what they play these days, since the Rams haven't scored a touchdown since 2003. Anyway, the clip:

quote of the day (September 17, 2008)

Sorry for our consistent inconsistency. We've been traveling a lot and waylaid by work (egad!). Sadly, we're off again to Dallas tomorrow, which means that we're going to miss Opening Day for QOTD's own bowling team. As all of you already know, Sundays are for bowling, but for those of us on Business Time, we add Thursday to the mix. In honor of the team:

Conditions are perfect for bowling. And beer.

Anyway, as a random study, given QOTD's start as a mustache chronicle and our impending bowling season, we checked out the PBA bowling homepage (sponsored by Denny's, possibly the greatest match between title sponsor and league of all time) to have a look at the roster of professional bowlers. Out of a possible 58 pictured, only 6 sported a stand-alone 'stache (a hit rate of only 7%). That was mind-blowing to me, I would've bet on at least 25%. In fairness, there were some unfortunate goatees and some very strange looking gentlemen. It's a shame that St. Louis' own Pete Weber changed this sexy look:



Oh well. Essentially all of this was just to say that we're sad we're going to miss opening night. So there you go. On topic, today's quote, from The Big Lebowski, when Maude Lebowski (Julianne Moore) asks The Dude (Jeff Bridges) what he does for recreation:

"Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback."

And, in a youtube clip I initially saw on The Squirrel Slayer, a combination of Wii bowling and The Big Lebowski. Amazingly awesome, but the language is definitely unfriendly for work:



Go Business Time.

quote of the day (June 6, 2008)

The last day of our Sports Week in Quotes (SWiQ™). For baseball fans, there are a few classics. One movie that sums up the minor league lifestyle perfectly is 1987's Bull Durham. A few of the best lines follow:

"Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic."
--veteran catcher Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) gives some advice to young pitching prospect (and worst-looking movie ballplayer of all-time) Nuke LaLoosh (Tim Robbins)

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"The world is not made for people cursed with self-awareness."
--Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon)

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"Man that ball got outta here in a hurry. I mean anything travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think?"
--Crash again to Nuke after he gives up a long homerun

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Manager: "You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry?"

Larry: "Lollygaggers."

--The team's manager (Trey Wilson) and pitching coach Larry Hockett (Robert Wuhl) give the Bulls a dressing-down after another bad performance

Look at that! He hit the f***ing bull! Guy gets a free steak!

quote of the day (June 5, 2008)

No week of sports quotes without a quote from Terry Tate, Office Linebacker, as suggested by alert reader/QOTD sibling Katie Doll:

"Wooo! You know you can't bring that weak ass stuff up in this humpy-bumpy! You kill the joe, you make some mo'! You know that baby! Else you in for a long day, a long day! Coz Triple T's up in this biiiitch!"
--Terry Tate (Lester Speight), gives Paul Merkin (Bob Stevenson) a painful lesson in workplace etiquette in the original 2003 Super Bowl advertisement, "Terry's World"

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!