the motherflippin' quote of the day (April 30)

Since we here at QOTD bureau have been enjoying our new Flight of the Conchords album (even if it does skip the Crazy Dogggz hit, "Doggy Bounce"), we'll go back to them for today's quote:

"Other rappers diss me
Say my rhymes are sissy
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Be more constructive with your feedback, please"

--Flight of the Conchords, with "Hiphopapotamus vs. Rhymenocerous (featuring the Hiphopapotamus and the Rhymenocerous)"

quote of the day (April 29)

From another one of our favorite TV shows 30 Rock. (Hmmm. We've been doing this for 7 days or so, and have quoted 4 different TV shows. Is it possible we need to get out more?):

Pete (Scott Adsit): "Liz Taylor really messed him up! He might have brain damage."

Liz Lemon (Tina Fey): "God. Maybe the musical guest can do some extra songs this week. Who is it?"

Pete: "James Blunt."

Liz Lemon: "Ugghh."

Quote of the Day (April 28, 2008)

We here at the QOTD bureau are just returning from another amazing Bruce Springsteen concert. We pause while you watch )this clip of the Boss from the 80's(the same tour when I saw my first ever concert).

One of the most noticeable thing about the Charlotte Bruce Springsteen concert was that it was the whitest crowd of any show I've ever seen. With nary a minority in sight, there is more diversity at rodeos or KKK rallies. This gives us a good excuse to quote a website dedicated to those things that we of the Caucasian persuasion seem to love:

Stuff White People Like

From item #18 that White People Like:

Awareness

"An interesting fact about white people is that they firmly believe that all of the world’s problems can be solved through “awareness.” Meaning the process of making other people aware of problems, and then magically someone else like the government will fix it.

This belief allows them to feel that sweet self-satisfaction without actually having to solve anything or face any difficult challenges. Because, the only challenge of raising awareness is people not being aware."

Quote of the Day (April 25, 2008)

As we wind down the first week of the return of QOTD, we go to NBC's The Office:

"It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is bold the right word?"

--Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) discusses Michael Scott (Steve Carrell)'s ill-advised Christmas card

Quote of the Day (April 24, 2008)

In our first week back doing the QOTD, we've already hit many of our favorites - Arrested Development, Flight of the Conchords and Joe Queenan. Another one of our all-time favorites, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, as suggested by Charlotte QOTD correspondent Mike Bufkin:

"I must say, I don't believe I belong here with these rogues. I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average."
--Gregory, complaining about being in detention. Or Carson Palmer, complaining about his teammates on the Cincinnati Bengals.

Quote of the Day (April 23, 2008)

We've already hit Arrested Development and Flight of the Conchords, tv shows that everyone at the QOTD bureau loves very much. But it's time to start expanding our horizons to the fine art of cinematic criticism. For what do we love more than the combination of a little Joe Queenan snark and the topic of the worst movies ever made.

He concludes that Heaven's Gate, the 1980 Michael Cimino movie that's not at all about this guy --

is the worst movie ever, beating out QOTD favorites like Battlefield Earth, Mitchell and Rollerball. But what really touched us was his idealistic mission statement:

"Several years ago, I read that a movie about a blind dental technician and a paraplegic athlete who enter a white-water rafting competition was playing at a cinema near me. I immediately bought a ticket for Good Luck, enthralled at the idea of seeing what figured to be one of the worst movies ever made. To be honest, that is the reason I became a critic in the first place; criticism seemed to be a way to channel my unwholesome fascination with train wrecks and fires into a socially acceptable framework. The truth is, every time I go to the pictures, I get goose bumps all over, anticipating that this, after all these years, could be the worst movie ever made."

--Joe Queenan, The Guardian, "From Hell", March 21, 2008

Quote of the Day (April 22, 2008)

On day 2 of our return to the wild world of quotations, we're going to stick with our favorites. With Arrested Development checked off the list, we're on to our favorite New Zealanders, Flight of the Conchords. Their first full-length album, cleverly titled Flight of the Conchords, debuts today.

From their pilot episode on HBO, they show that sissy James Blunt how to write a real love song:

"Looking round the room,
I can tell that you
Are the most beautiful girl in the...room.
In the whole wide room

And when you're on the street
Depending on the street
I bet you are definitely in the top three
Good looking girls on the street
Depending on the street"

--Flight of the Conchords, singing "Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room)"

QOTD returns! quote of the day (April 21, 2008)

As I described in my last post, when you have as many as 3 individual daily visitors to a blog, you've got to use that power for good. And since we here at QOTD headquarters have had dozens* of requests for the return of the quote of the day, well, this just couldn't have worked out better. (*Dozens of requests, but only two people making them - it was mostly just Javad Khazaeli and Brian Williams, hoping to reopen the QOTD DC satellite bureau) So, anyway, we're back, and this time in blog form. But we're still open to quote suggestions, just like the old days. Write us at christopherdoll@gmail.com.

To kick us off, who better than George Oscar Bluth (Will Arnett) from Arrested Development to lay some ground rules for the revival of the Quote of the Day:



=========================================================
"Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep]ing or [bleep]ing or finger [bleep] or [bleep]ing or [bleep]ing or even [bleep]. Even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I’ll take off my pants, I’ll shave my [bleep]. And I’ll personally [long bleep]"

I'm a Free-Born Man of the USA (we're back)

After a stellar two months of NOT POSTING, your formerly-mustached blogger has returned. Since I never really bothered to log in and give a full wrap-up here, let me do so now.

First, a full thank you to all the generous donors. In an astounding showing for our first-year, our scraggly mustache-growers raised about $55,000 once all of the matching funds were added. My own pitiful whiskers raised almost $2,600, thanks to all of my exceptionally generous friends and family.

I had intended to keep this blog going after my mustached month, but without having to deal with strangers' scorn on my meager blonde-streaked 'stache, I was having some trouble finding my muse.

Anyway, I've decided to use this space to restart my old Quote of the Day (QOTD) - a little waste of time that I started as a freshman at Indiana University back in 1994 and sent out to my friends. So from now on - that's what all 4 of you readers will see in this space. Thanks for those of you who followed this during my mustache antics!

24! (doop deep doop deep)

As I start this blog posting, it's just after midnight, meaning that I have exactly 24 hours to go in my first-ever facial hair experiment. It also means that I'm going to take the cheap way out - if I weren't so tired, I'd have found a sound file to make the 24 clock sound here. I'd also have done a better job of editing the photos to make this blatant ripoff of the Wispy Tickler's post below:

Chloe, upload the coordinates of the nearest drugstore to my PDA - I need more mustache wax, and THERE'S NO TIME!


Sadly, I don't have the web-building ability or patience to upload Jack Bauer whisper-yelling at you right now, so you have to read my dry text instead.

As we enter the final hours of our mustache-growing challenge, we've raised over $26,000 (almost $30,000 counting matching funds) - and there's still the 'Stache Bash at Madison's in uptown Charlotte on Friday night! $10 gets you free beer, food, and an awful lot of handsome gentlemen showing off their mustaches. It's like a win-win-win. Or the opposite of UNC's game vs Duke tonight.

Anyway, I'm going to keep this blog going for a while still - so I'll have time to thank everyone and give the final totals in the coming days. Now I'm off to bed to rest up for my last day looking like this guy:


(hey, at least I didn't put a Freddie Mercury picture here)

Good night and check out Our Progress on the donation page!

Doing that thing you do...

It was not a great day at work today, so I cooled off as only a mustache man really can - tell 'em, Randy Marsh:


With a little Guitar Hero, at the Wispy Tickler's place. Unfortunately, I'm pretty bad - but on the upside, I also didn't play wearing nothing but jockey underwear.

If you'll look up to the right there, you'll notice that thanks to some incredibly generous donations, we are up to almost $1,900!! As a group, our Charlotte mustache-growers have raised over $23,600 (with another $3,500 in matching funds)! Not bad for a bunch of guys who are just trying to save money on shaving cream.

Remember, the big finale party - The Stache Bash - is this Friday night at Connolly's uptown. Details at Our M4K homepage.

By the way, I'm pretty excited that I'm currently the third result when you google "Suck It, Patriots". The internet is a fabulous place.

Speaking of fabulous things on the internet and Guitar Hero (what a smooth transition sentence!), this gives me cramps in my hands just watching it.

Suck it, Patriots!

HA! Cheaters.

In other news, these are three good-looking men with mustaches. But I didn't need to tell you that.


Only 4 more days till I can shave this thing. The good residents of Charlotte rejoice.

Listen, all o' y'all, it's a sabotage!

Them's two bad mutha--shut yo' mouth--I'm just talking 'bout 'Stache!

The picture is from George Herman's last night for our third weekly checkpoint. 22 days down; 6 to go. As a group, we've now raised over $20,000 (matching donations make it closer to $23,000). We're entering the homestretch, and yet my mustache isn't really looking any better than it did a week ago. The sunglasses are a nice touch, though. I think I'm going to start wearing them everywhere...

Yesterday I received a donation from a generous co-worker, Amy Burgess, who had this to say about my new accessory: "I will have to admit - the first time I saw you I truly wondered what the F you were doing. It made much more sense when I walked by your cube and saw Burt" (Burt = my donation jar)

Making a positive impression everywhere I go!

You Were Saying Something about 'Best Intentions'? Ohhh, you were finished! Well, then allow me to retort! (FAQ)

Many people have asked me questions about the Mustaches for Kids process and my feelings about the growing process. Now that this blog is up to dozens of readers, I figured I might as well address a couple of those questions. In honor of Murray, the inspiration for my mustache, we'll do it like a band meeting.

Item 1: Roll Call. Murray? Present.

Item 2: Have you ever grown facial hair before? No. This is the first time I've ever gone without shaving for longer than 2 days. I've always wanted to grow a hockey playoff beard, but sadly, I don't play hockey, as I can't skate backwards or stop without running into the boards. I'd have a real problem staying onsides.

Item 3: Why Mustaches? Are mustaches really that embarrassing? (usually asked by someone who has a fully-formed adult mustache) I think it's less about embarrassment over growing a mustache than the process of growing the mustache, slowly, when people are used to seeing you without. And there's the fact that it looks like an anorexic porcupine has climbed on my face to rest. But your mustache looks awesome! Seriously! Unless Charlotte's own Adam Morrison is reading this, in which case, sorry guy.

Item 4: Let's skip item 4 and post a clip from the film that made Joe Don Baker a household name - 1975's bad cop epic, "Mitchell". Yes, let's.



Wasn't that awesome? Yes. But it would've been even more badass if he'd had a mustache. Although that 'stache would've acted as a strainer for an awful lot of Schlitz.

Item 5: The real most-frequently asked question I get. How is Julie holding up after 3 weeks of you with a mustache? Well, I'll let her answer.

JULIE: I hear you all keep asking Chris "how I'm holding up" now that I am dating a mustachioed man. You may be worried that we could go on a break any minute due to the overgrowth of hair in the upper lip region of his face. But fear not, dear friends. I am a positive thinker. Check out the top 5 reasons I LOVE the stache!

Julie's Top 5 List

5. Stache sponsored parties.
4. People's pity = free drinks
3. I don't have to worry about getting carded - people think he is my dad.
2. To show support, I have not shaved my legs for 20 days
And #1 (drum roll please....)
1. Free exfoliation!

Julie and I during a less hirsute, happier time.

=====================================================
So there you have it...hope to see everyone in Charlotte at George Herman's tomorrow night (THURSDAY)!

It's a big hat. It's funny.

19 days of mustache-growth vs. a lifetime of making the ladies swoon. Despite my self-satisfied expression, it's clear that my donation jar picture of Burt Reynolds is the clear winner here. And not just because there's $80 in that jar and only about $5 in my pocket.

Reminder for Charlotte folk - this Thursday night at George Herman's uptown...there WILL be costumes. And possibly blood.