quote of the day (August 20, 2008)

Sometimes being the Quotemaster has its drawbacks. Everyone knows about the adulation and riches that comes with operating a daily (ahem. semi-daily) quote blog. But just like those days when you just can't get rid of a bomb, some days you just can't think up a good topic for that day's quote.

We've clearly led into today with several Olympics-related quotes, and we only have a couple more days where that'd be relevant. But there just aren't that many Olympic-related pieces of pop culture that can compete with Gymkata. So how about Snakes on a Plane? Just think of it as a metaphor - the CGI snakes eating the hapless passengers represent evil athletes who are doping (or 12-year old gymnasts forging passports) to win gold medals over their innocent rule-abiding competition. And Sam Jackson is the International Olympic Committee Anti-Doping Commission who says, "Enough is enough. I have had it with these muthaf***in' cheaters in these muthaf***in' Games!"

The results are in - Sam Jackson has tested positive for being a badass. And for a wild lack of judgment when it comes to movie roles.

Okay, that didn't work at all. We're probably just trying to excise our bad memories from getting to the theater early on Snakes on a Plane's opening night, spending upwards of $9 on a menagerie of rubber snakes and then finding that the rest of the Charlotte population had lives other things going on that night. Anyway, how about a fun exchange from that movie:

Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson): "We need weapons. Do you have any silverware or cutlery?"

Claire Miller (flight attendant played by ER's Julianna Margulies): "We don't have any silverware. All we have are these."

Flynn: "Sporks?"

Okay, now that that's out of the way, here's a real-life Olympic story. From an article in today's Detroit Free-Press:
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Anyway, the show (Access Hollywood) sought to update its Michael Phelps story from the Athens Olympics, when it asked him which celeb he'd most like to meet.

Said Phelps in 2004: "Lindsay Lohan. She's pretty hot."

So four years later, (host Billy) Bush brought Phelps this text response from Lohan: "Tell him he's (expletive) amazing, and I want to meet him."

"That's pretty cool," Phelps said.
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Great. If Phelps spends any time with Lindsay Lohan, he not likely to get any gold medals in 2012, but he will likely pick up chlamydia. Olympic flame, indeed.

Quick, someone light the Sexual Harrassment Panda Signal! He must protect Michael Phelps!