quote of the day (July 14, 2008)

We've been out of the QOTD office a lot recently with the visit of St. Louis correspondent/QOTD sibling Katie Doll, so we're going to mash together a couple of quotes for today. We're now in the midst of our Batman-ranking exercise where we run into a couple of forgettable Batmen. Val Kilmer played Batman in 1995's Batman Forever, and George Clooney (yes, that guy from Facts of Life) played Batman in the 1997 stinkbomb Batman & Robin.

Val Kilmer, Batman Forever 1995

Typical quote: "You called me here for this? The Batsignal is not a beeper."

Strengths: um, strengths. let's see. He was more physically imposing and staid than the goofier Michael Keaton and the more sensual Adam West. And he wasn't George Clooney.

Weaknesses: Boring. And also hampered by the director's goofier, lighter vision.

Overall Rating (0-100): 50. Val Kilmer was perfectly acceptable. And perfectly forgettable.
Just look at him, being all generic and stuff. Not even one teeth click to be had.

George Clooney, Batman & Robin 1997

Typical quote: "The heat is on, Freeze."

Strengths: Was better than most of the dredge around him in this awful film. Basically played himself - and at least he's a likeable guy.

Weaknesses: Basically played himself. He wore a nippled batsuit. Had an unfortunate propensity for puns (though not as painfully as Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze character, who spoke entirely in sentence fragments that included references to cold, snow, ice or freezing). The movie was essentially a giant toy commercial - a decidedly unappealing toy commercial.

Overall Rating (0-100): 13. George Clooney, though affable and generally fun to watch, had no chance in this stink-bomb of a movie. Perhaps if he'd been given a real script and hadn't been saddled with both Chris O'Donnell (Robin) AND Alicia Silverstone (Batgirl), he'd have been okay in this role.

It's apparently cold in the Batcave this morning...

EDITED TO ADD: As alert reader Potato Boy points out, Val Kilmer was the Batman with the nipples on his Bat-suit. He apparently has mistaken this blog for one that is interested in accuracy. We don't really regret the error, but we do appreciate the fact that anyone is reading this junk.