Monday, October 17, 2011

The End of Schadenfreude (or Go Cardinals!)

Tonight's a grab bag of various baseball-related junk, in honor of QOTD's beloved St. Louis Cardinals' 18th trip to the World Series.

St. Louis Cardinals' record as of first QOTD in 16 months: 79-68. (.537 winning percentage)

St. Louis Cardinals' record since: 18-8. (.692 winning percentage)

Coincidence? Yes, totally.

But to wrap up our long-overdue Schadenfreude posts, we'd like to present this classic from Nyger Morgan on Twitter, posted on September 7 after the Cardinals beat the Milwaukee Brewers:

"Where still n 1st and I hope those crying birds injoy watching tha Crew in tha Playoffs!!! Aaaaahhhh!!!" (sic) Oops. Consider the Birds done watching.

From one genius to another Genius. From today's Onion Sportswire:"Tony LaRussa Proving That You Can Win with an Insane Asshole as Manager"

The never before seen story of Colby Rasmus' exit from the Cardinals!

One final LaRussa note from the great Joe Posnanski, in a tweet referring to the future stinkbomb In Time starring Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, and Pete Campbell:

"Movie coming out where everyone gets only 25 years to live? Think how mad La Russa's constant pitching changes would make you."

To close, also from Posnanski on his blog, commenting on the ubiquitous (and hideously awful) commercial for AT&T that's been running every half-inning in the MLB Playoffs:

OK, this is the worst commercial on television. The worst. Nothing is even close. Let’s see if we can get this straight: This sad sack guy walks into his wife’s greenhouse to give her the good news that he has gotten some sort of unlimited minutes plan or something. The woman — who remember is in her OWN GREENHOUSE — is furious that he would make such a huge financial commitment without checking with her first, and says, almost certainly for the 1,894,381st time in their marriage, that she should have married John Clark.

The sad sack guy takes this abuse for a few seconds before offering the kicker — he got the unlimited minutes plan for free when he signed up for some unlimited data plan. And this, incredibly, leads to the woman to look at him with newfound respect, rather than leading her to say, “How much did that unlimited data plan cost? How about asking your wife? I should have married John Clark.”

I have never seen two less likable people in one commercial. The man looks like the sort of guy who would break your lawn mower and keep promising to pay you for the repairs. The woman makes Nurse Ratched look like Florence Nightingale.* They obviously hate each other, and have for a long time. You imagine that even their kids hope they finally divorce.

*Hey: 1970s movies reference plus British military health care reformer equals comedy gold!

And how is this supposed to make us in any way want to go with this phone plan? No idea. It’s pretty clear that there’s only one winner in this whole commercial. And that winner is: John Clark.

Awesome. And Go Cardinals!