Friday, December 12, 2008

I'm just talkin' 'bout 'Stache!

"I'm talkin' bout you, and me, and 'Stache, simultaneous..."

Who's the pasty white guy
who's a sex machine to all the chicks?
You're damn right...

Who is the man
Who would risk his upper lip for his brother man?
Can ya dig it?

Who's the cat who won't cop out
When there's ridicule all about?
Right on

You see, this cat 'Stache is a hairy mutha...
Shut yo' mouth!
But I'm talkin' 'bout 'Stache!
Then we can dig it!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him like his woman...
'Stache Bash!

Okay, if that doesn't have you fired up for tonight's 'Stache Bash, you're a lost cause. See you tonight - I'll be the guy who looks like Fidel Castro, if Castro had a $5 beard from a costume shop. Pictures tomorrow.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen, a Magician Named GOB...

It is indeed the final countdown. Just over 28 hours until the beginning of the 'Stache Bash, our finale party of the Mustache Growing Season, with almost $220,000 raised nationwide. Pretty amazing. And our Charlotte brutes have now jumped to almost $48,000.

In other news, our fightin' Charlotte Bobcats have traded away Jason Richardson and Jared Dudley, leaving us with approximately 1.5 scorers on a team that already couldn't score.

In still other news, I'm thinking about throwing my hat into the ring for Illinois Senator. We here at QOTD Headquarters are surprised that alert reader/QOTD Sargeant-at-Arms Javad Khazaeli hasn't already surfaced as Candidate 6 in the Blagojevich scandal. It's possible all the facts haven't come out yet.

In honor of the Final Countdown, today's QOTD comes from Europe's inane lyrics to the song:

"Oh, We're heading for Venus
and still we stand tall
cause maybe they've seen us
and welcome us all, yeah
with so many light years to go
and things to be found (to be found)
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so
It's the final countdown..."

FINALLY, and most importantly, I'd like to do a quick honor roll for all of the generous folks who have donated to my mustache cause as of 3pm on December 11 (these will be deleted off this blog in a couple of weeks to avoid having this page show up when they are googled for the rest of time):

Jim and Linda Roberts, Dan Cornell, Andy Jackson, Marj Wagner, Katie Doll, Jane Searson, Dr. Will Ballard, Daren and Averie Millstead, Lindsey Gerrity, Sarah Peters, Andrew Crawford, Kevin Doll, Julie Roberts (OFoQOTD), Ellen Wiese Thompson, Josh and Anise Farmer, Katie Engen, Matt and Kelly Sproul, Karl Heinz, Brooke Roetgerman, Amanda Weable, Javad Khazaeli (Candidate 6), Jennifer Vruwink, Meghan Norman, Mariann Witkowski, Carolyn Cox, Amy Clark, Brian Williams, Tim Edmond, John Borgmeyer, Martha Roesler, Tim Coover, Katie Van Hook, Courtney Taylor, Andy Klump, Kerry Feld, Kate Gauthier, my mother and father, Amy Burgess, Ashley Crawford, Mollie Farrell, Jared Yerg (founder of Beards BeCAUSE, and Tom Searson.

Thank you to all - you have seriously made this mustache campaign worthwhile. I will post a final pic of me dressed as Castro with my 'stache tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Another 48 Hrs... not just the name of an ill-conceived Eddie Murphy/Nick Nolte sequel. That's the amount of time I have left with my mustache this year.

Due to some exceedingly generous individuals, my fundraising total has jumped from $1,050 to $1,885 in the past week. We're still hoping to crack the $2,000 mark before the 48 hours pass.

Speaking of 48 hours, in 48 hours the 'Stache Bash will be in full swing, with many of the mustache growers in costume click to see last year's. I'm not looking to win any awards, so I've decided to go as Fidel Castro this year, primarily because I already own most of the costume, with the exception of the cigars (I'm pretty sure Castro smokes Swisher Sweets, right?). Come by Connolly's on 5th on Friday night to join us. $10 entry (all money goes to the charity) gets some free food and beer specials.

MMMmmmm...cherry flavor!!

Speaking of Cuba (this is a Keith Hernandez-level stretch), today's QOTD:

"I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more than that movie missed the point
And that's an awful lot girl
And now, now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say is
Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you

I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
He's way better than Ben Affleck
And now all I can think about is your smile
and that sh*tty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?"

--Lyrics from "Pearl Harbor", a song from Team America: World Police

Monday, December 8, 2008

FOUR MORE YEARS, er days...

Four more days till I can shave this small, mammal-looking thing off the top of my lip. I'm certainly happy about that, but the OFoQOTD is REALLY happy about it. She rarely lets on, even going so far as to claim she likes the mustache. She's convincing enough that she probably should have testified on behalf of the Detroit auto companies in front of Congress.

In boxing news, Oscar de la Hoya was soundly defeated by the younger, smaller Manny Pacquiao on Saturday night. Pacquiao's domination was hard to believe, but it's even worse if you see the clips:

If only Apollo Creed had Doc Louis in his corner instead of Rocky, he'd never have died against Ivan "Death from Above" Drago.

And now for today's mustache moment, speaking of boxing, one of the earliest known boxing champions was John L. Sullivan, who sported a bad-ass handlebar mustache. He won some 450 fights in his career, including many of the bare-knuckle variety. That didn't stop the doubters, as Sullivan noted in 1905:

"'Your hands are too big; you'll never make a boxer,' was one of the bits of discouragement passed to me when I was beginning to attract notice as a puncher."

One of his most-celebrated fights was his bare-knuckle bout against Jake Kilrain. Although times looked bad for Sullivan when he vomited in his corner in the 44th round, he recovered enough to force Kilrain's manager to throw in the towel after the 75th round. (Rounds were not the standard 3 minutes - they ended whenever a fighter fell or was knocked down - but the fight still lasted well over 2 hours. Mustached guys are apparently tough-asses.)

For a final note that combines mustaches, boxing, Punch-Out and fundraising (of a sort), try this movie:

Remember, only four days till the 'Stache Bash this Friday night at Connolly's. Please come out to support the cause - and take the last chance to see my very own Von Kaiser-style 'Stache before it dies a dignified death...

Friday, December 5, 2008

The facts are these: (or, it's just 174 hours till I can shave this thing off)

Our blog title today pays homage to QOTD's favorite dead show walking, Pushing Daisies, which will soon follow in the footsteps of Arrested Development, Veronica Mars, Deadwood, Freaks & Geeks and Thunder in Paradise as QOTD favorite shows that died too early.

Speaking of things that are ending, our brothers-in-facial-hair-fundraising, Beards BeCAUSE are having their finale party tonight. My mustache, my lady and I will all be making an appearance to support them in their second extremely successful season. They are growing beards to benefit the United Family Services Shelter for battered women. There are so many hairy-faced men walking around Charlotte these days that Sasquatch reports have risen 400% in the last year.

A typical scene from a Charlotte city park.

Speaking of mustaches and parties, Jonathan Quayle Higgins III, aka Higgins (John Hillerman) in Magnum, P.I. has some wonderful advice for people going out this evening:

"Don't ruin my whiskey with Ice! I'm not a bloody American!"

Oahu Senior Prom picture, circa 1984.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Mustache Checkpoint #3 and quote of the day (December 4, 2008)

Mustaches for Kids checkpoint #3 has just ended and the Guinness retention contest was won by someone other than your QOTD correspondent. This less-than-scientific competition apparently did not give style points for bad cop sunglasses, or we would've taken home the crown.

A picture from last year's Checkpoint #3, showing QOTD head correspondent in the sweet pink floral shirt ($3 at Salvation Army) along with the Wispy Tickler, who couldn't be bothered to dress up this year. He probably should respect my authoritah.

We're now down to only one week of mustache growth before next Friday's 'Stache Bash at Connolly's in Uptown Charlotte. We are approaching the $32,000 mark locally, and nationally are coming closer to $150,000!! Pretty awesome for a bunch of guys who are just neglecting basic grooming for a month.

Yesterday, we discussed Sean Avery and his classless comments about ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. Apparently his bad behavior doesn't end there, as you can read about his run-in with a 59-year old female fan of the Nashville Predators. He is 0% Gallant and 100% Goofus.

So, for today's mustache quote, we go to an old English proverb.

"A man without a mustache is like a cup of tea without sugar."

To translate that to Ah-mur-i-can:

"A man without a mustache is like a 40-ounce without a paper bag."

Now THIS is the kind of Old English proverb we can get on board with.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

quote of the day (December 3, 2008)

Well, nothing like staying on a roll. In larger terms, this is 2 posts in 21 days (a Buddy Biancalana-like .095 posting average). However, we're very streaky at QOTD. This is 2 posts in 2 days, for a Pujols-like 1.000 average.

Today we'll be lighter on the mustache stuff, although we will have our Mustache Moment in a bit.

First of all, you might have heard about Dallas Stars (NHL) agitator Sean Avery's suspension-inducing brilliant commentary about his ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert, who is currently dating the Calgary Flames' Dion Phaneuf. This gives us an excuse to put a picture up of the lovely Ms. Cuthbert:

She is quite easy on the eyes, but not for fans of 24, who have suffered through her performance as Kim Bauer, Jack's dopey daughter. From today's Pardon the Interruption, QOTD favorite Tony Kornheiser had some comments about her character from 24, even mentioning her famous encounter with a mountain lion:

"She was kidnapped 3 times in 24 hours. Yes. 3 times in 24 hours! Anyone who watched 24 in the first season was rooting for the mountain lion to eat her."

(QOTD note: the mountain lion attack happened in season 2. but we were still rooting for the lion)

Washington Post writer Hank Steuver had more fun with this article about Kim's stupidity. Definitely worth a read.

Now for today's Mustache Moment:

Brad Pitt was quoted this week as wanting to bring back the mustache: "That's my goal. I don’t think 'staches are respected enough. It's political. It’s a political statement."

If two winners of People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive have mustaches, why do I still get laughed at when I walk into a Quizno's with my shaggy 'stache?

Second-to-last Mustaches for Kids checkpoint tomorrow night (Thursday) at Angry Ale's Bar & Grill. $5 gets you free Bud Light drafts until the keg is dry after 7pm, with all money going to the charity. Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

soooo...a lot's happened in the three weeks since we last saw each other...

Bad correspondent! BAD!

So, in the three weeks since we last posted a Quote of the "Day", a lot has happened:

1) Your correspondent has started growing another mustache to help benefit public school projects in Charlotte and St. Louis. So far, its shabby appearance has helped it raise $1,157, good for 7th among the 110+ Charlotte growers.

2) Because of the questionable look of my half-grown 'stache, I have taken to wearing a Michael Jackson-style face mask to keep people's prying eyes off my face. I've also taken to dangling babies off balconies. But that's just for fun.

I tell people it's to protect me from SARS.

3) The local ABC affiliate was so impressed by my burgeoning bristles that they interviewed me 10 days back.

4) The Wispy Tickler finally updated his blog with tales of his mustache. QOTD may be a sham (but not a Sham-Wow), but we are much better to our many fans than the Wispy Tickler, who updates his blog on the HBO Sopranos schedule - about every 18 months.

OHHHhhhh--there he is! Look here, Ton', an actual post. Pass the onion rings.

We have about another 10 days of this junk to go, and we're in a tight race with NYC to see which chapter raises the most money. Currently NY has about a $1,500 lead over our $25,500. If you'd like to donate, go to my giving page and pick a project that sounds interesting. We'll take any amount - every dollar counts. And now, for a bit of inspiration, today's QOTD, from mustachioed failed actor/analrapist (that's a combination analyst + therapist, thank you very much) Tobias Funke:

"I'm afraid I just blue myself."

And one more inspirational moment, from 2007 and Mustache Inspiration Adam Morrison: