Wednesday, January 30, 2008

You Were Saying Something about 'Best Intentions'? Ohhh, you were finished! Well, then allow me to retort! (FAQ)

Many people have asked me questions about the Mustaches for Kids process and my feelings about the growing process. Now that this blog is up to dozens of readers, I figured I might as well address a couple of those questions. In honor of Murray, the inspiration for my mustache, we'll do it like a band meeting.

Item 1: Roll Call. Murray? Present.

Item 2: Have you ever grown facial hair before? No. This is the first time I've ever gone without shaving for longer than 2 days. I've always wanted to grow a hockey playoff beard, but sadly, I don't play hockey, as I can't skate backwards or stop without running into the boards. I'd have a real problem staying onsides.

Item 3: Why Mustaches? Are mustaches really that embarrassing? (usually asked by someone who has a fully-formed adult mustache) I think it's less about embarrassment over growing a mustache than the process of growing the mustache, slowly, when people are used to seeing you without. And there's the fact that it looks like an anorexic porcupine has climbed on my face to rest. But your mustache looks awesome! Seriously! Unless Charlotte's own Adam Morrison is reading this, in which case, sorry guy.

Item 4: Let's skip item 4 and post a clip from the film that made Joe Don Baker a household name - 1975's bad cop epic, "Mitchell". Yes, let's.

Wasn't that awesome? Yes. But it would've been even more badass if he'd had a mustache. Although that 'stache would've acted as a strainer for an awful lot of Schlitz.

Item 5: The real most-frequently asked question I get. How is Julie holding up after 3 weeks of you with a mustache? Well, I'll let her answer.

JULIE: I hear you all keep asking Chris "how I'm holding up" now that I am dating a mustachioed man. You may be worried that we could go on a break any minute due to the overgrowth of hair in the upper lip region of his face. But fear not, dear friends. I am a positive thinker. Check out the top 5 reasons I LOVE the stache!

Julie's Top 5 List

5. Stache sponsored parties.
4. People's pity = free drinks
3. I don't have to worry about getting carded - people think he is my dad.
2. To show support, I have not shaved my legs for 20 days
And #1 (drum roll please....)
1. Free exfoliation!

Julie and I during a less hirsute, happier time.

So there you have it...hope to see everyone in Charlotte at George Herman's tomorrow night (THURSDAY)!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

It's a big hat. It's funny.

19 days of mustache-growth vs. a lifetime of making the ladies swoon. Despite my self-satisfied expression, it's clear that my donation jar picture of Burt Reynolds is the clear winner here. And not just because there's $80 in that jar and only about $5 in my pocket.

Reminder for Charlotte folk - this Thursday night at George Herman's uptown...there WILL be costumes. And possibly blood.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Sweet Jesus, I'm'a work them...

If you don't watch The Wire on HBO, you're missing the best show in the history of television. But after watching tonight's episode, I am definitely anxious for Omar to unleash holy hell on Marlo, Chris, Snoop and the whole gang.

Another new post about my Sunday with Roller Derby and Rambo is below...

Back to our regularly-scheduled follicularly-inspired ramblings tomorrow...

Sonic Death Rabbit (or, a Mustached Man-About Town)

Day 17. The mustache is coming on strong. Still blond directly above the lip, but if you're looking at me from 10 paces, I'm definitely a guy with a mustache.

So does a Mustachioed Man with a heart of gold spend his Sunday evenings? Going to see the Charlotte Roller Girls, of course. It was their first Charlotte bout, and it was definitely a lot of fun. With player names like Sonic Death Rabbit, Pollyannarchy and The Debilitator, how can you go wrong? It was definitely a lot of fun - I highly recommend going next time they play. It was also a perfect place for me and my mustache to blend into a crowd--for the first time since I've started growing, no one even gave me a second glance.

Never one to rest on my laurels, my boy Mike (the Wispy Tickler) and I headed straight from the Roller Derby to see Rambo.

SPOILER ALERT: Rambo, despite being approximately 73 years old, can still operate a bow & arrow. And he also spends 10 minutes operating a giant gun that turns all the evil Burmese soldiers into ground beef. It was undoubtedly the worst movie I've seen in the theatre since Ben Affleck in "Daredevil". On the upside, it was only about 65 minutes long. And it was pretty unintentionally funny. I thought maybe I'd enjoy watching Rambo now that I'm the sort of guy who proudly wears a raggedy mustache.

I was wrong.

Rambo vs. the Charlotte Roller Girls: I'd rather face Rambo - he's more likely to break his hip.

FUNDRAISING UPDATE: Only 11 days left of the growing season. We're closing in on $15,000 raised so far. If you haven't donated yet, please visit our Mustaches for Kids' donation page! More posts and pictures soon.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Drop. Your. Sword.

Okay, so 14 days into Mustache Mania, I've decided that my mustache sort of looks like The Man in Black's mustache, from The Princess Bride. My mustache is just a tad less valiant. And a tad less handsome.

Inconceivable, you say? Just wait till I get a mask. They're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future...

(please don't forget to look at the post below to see all the people who've donated and the projects they've supported)

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)

This post is just to thank all the people who have donated so far to my ridiculous rodent-climbed-on-my-face-and-died looking mustache. If the post title got a Sly & the Family Stone song stuck in your head, so much the better...

So, in project alphabetical order, the people who donated and the projects they supported! (if you want to be a part of this fun, go to our M4K donation page to donate.

John Basler and Kerry Feld donated to the still-open Books for Boys.

Chamie McCurry donated to the fully-funded Extra, Extra, Read All About It.

Mark Larmore and Amy Whittaker donated to the fully-funded Fit Force!

Kate Christensen donated to the fully-funded Help Me Grow Great Readers!

Jane Searson donated to the fully-funded Help My Students Go Into the Wild!

Jim & Linda Roberts and Lucy Goo donated to the fully-funded Junior Advocates for the Hydrosphere Toolkit.

Javad Khazaeli donated to the fully-funded Los Libros Buenos Tomar en Casa/Good Books to Take Home.

Michele Shugart donated to the fully-funded Make TIME for Learning!

My mother Jeanne Doll donated to the fully-funded Money Matters.

Terrie Zagorski donated to the fully-funded Pour, Measure and Learn.

Dr. Will Ballard donated to the fully-funded Reading is Fun!

Jennifer Gerty and Carmen Waite donated to the fully-funded Women of Mystery.

Julie Roberts and Katie Doll donated to the fully-funded Write, Draw and Create with Basic Supplies.

Additional thanks to Robin Rankin, Stephanie Cornwell, David Williams and Julia Weil for your contributions to the m4k jar on my desk at work. Thanks again to all who have donated. You've helped a lot of students in the greater Charlotte area! Now back to our regularly scheduled nonsense...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Day 13 picture...more coming soon...

Thanks to donors Amy Whittaker and Michele Shugart for continuing to harrass me into having my picture taken. And yes, I am a handsome fella. No need to tell me...

More posts coming later today...

Monday, January 21, 2008

That Bill Murray...he must be some kinda crazy whore for money...

Ah...Garfield. Peaked in the 1980's, yet continues to appear in a million newspapers, sells calendars and plush toys. Peaked in the 80s, much like the mustache as a fashion accessory. That's why I love the very surreal art of Lasagna Cat - I can't really explain it, but you should probably check it out. Here's a youtube clip that is very relevant to our cause. If you don't think it's funny, try watching a few more times. Or at 3am. I promise it's way funnier then. Or try one of the other 28 videos.

Our M4K Charlotte total is over $10,000 now! If you haven't donated, or just want to check on the total, click right HERE.

More pictures coming soon.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Pain and damage don't end the world...

10 days in. 10 days. Only 18 days to go, and I'm starting to slowly get more accustomed to my ridiculous(-ly hot) new look. In fact, every day starts with that first glance in the bathroom mirror, and I start laughing all over again.

Here's a picture from Thursday night's check-in with Mike "The Wispy Tickler" Bufkin. Bet you're sad you missed it. Never fear - there's another checkpoint this Thursday night at Tyber Creek!

So, now I'll leave you with the uplifting portion of today's post. Whenever I start feeling too self-conscious about my adolescent 'stache, I turn to the Master of the Mustache for a decidedly unsafe-for-work pep talk.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I'll take those Huggies and uh..whatever cash ya got...

Day 8. As the mustache starts to fill in, I'm feeling more and more like H.I., Nicholas Cage's character from "Raising Arizona". I've gone from the personable, happy-go-lucky guy that you know and love to someone who looks at the ground a lot and avoids eye contact with strangers whenever possible.

In other news, last night was the first weekly checkpoint at the Gin Mill and it was great to see all the guys with their semi-staches and everyone else who came out. It was also Mustache Haiku night, and most of the entries were hysterical. As the emcee of the event, I couldn't participate, but here's one anyway:

Seven days of growth
Hot Fuzz ain't just a movie
Julie's so lucky!

More posts/pictures to come. Our cause is up to almost $8,900 at this point. Exciting stuff!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A thoughtful gentleman

6 days in. Just wait till I am not so tired and am wearing my gold-rimmed Respect My Authoritah sunglasses.

No Play for Mr. Gray (Blond?)

As you'll see tonight in my first, 6-days-in mustache picture, I'm looking decidedly like a gung ho 16-year old growing a mustache to impress the ladies while cruising in his '74 Camaro.

Far more troubling than that is the fact that if you look very closely, it appears that the whiskers just above my lip are either gray or blond. I'm thinking that Keith Hernandez and Clyde Frazier (nice facial hair, gentlemen!) would suggest Just for Men. I'm going to wait to see how this comes in before I start resorting to a Sharpie marker to fill in the renegade light hairs.

Picture tonight!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


On Thursday, January 10, Mustaches for Kids Charlotte started growing mustaches to raise money for the schoolchildren of North Carolina.

On Sunday, January 13, Family Guy featured Peter Griffin first raving about, then growing his own mustache.


Yes, I think so.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Murray? Present.

This is Rhys Darby. He has a mustache. Sometimes.

He plays Murray from Flight of the Conchords, the inspiration for my mustache name. Here's what I'll tell people when they make fun of my mustache and they don't make a donation. (clip is NSFW)

Coming Soon...a man and his mustache...

You've landed here accidentally, obviously.

But coming soon will be stories from my mustachioed month to raise money for DonorsChoose.

In the meantime, visit to find out about our fundraising efforts.