Monday, November 10, 2008

quote of the day (November 10, 2008): the Brunching Shuttlecocks tribute

Another classic from the Brunching Shuttlecocks...

A quick post today in tribute to the late, great Brunching Shuttlecocks website - which shut down 5 years ago. First off, a belated Halloween adventure: Choose Your Own Serial Murder gives you the chance to play a Scream-like character bent on killing a semi-nude teenager. It's very funny, takes only minutes to play, and is completely text-based - safe for work.

Another excellent page, but less safe for work, is the quiz Porn Star or My Little Pony?, where you have to guess whether the names listed are adult film stars or the names of My Little Pony. Feel free to comment below with your score. For reference, we here at QOTD scored a reprehensible 4 out of 12. We know our educated audience can do better.

Finally, the site was best known for its ratings, where they would give A through F ratings to a vast array of different items, things as varied as breakfast cereals, Three's Company characters, and card games. Today's quote comes from their ratings on He-Man characters:

An incredibly muscular blond guy in a breechcloth and a page boy. On this planet he'd be stripping for tips in North Beach, but on Eternia he fights deformed animal guys and delivers homilies on the value of cooperation. Location, location, location. My real difficulty with He-Man is that his secret identity -- "Prince Adam," which is a porn name if I ever heard one -- was nothing more than a change of outfit and a whiny voice. He didn't even bother with the Clark Kent eyeglass move, for God's sake. C-

One of the neighborhood kids -- when I was young and actually playing with action figures, as opposed to just having them -- was convinced that the name "Man-At-Arms" was composed of the first name "Man-At" and the last name "Arms." As if he was the child of Hank and Brenda Arms, an art-loving couple who tried to name their son after Manet but missed by a vowel. Still, considering that the character's real first name was "Duncan," my friend's delusion was a marked improvement. B

You have to admire the design chutzpah that went into creating this molded plastic marriage of action-packed fun and unpleasant odor. When you make something like this, you're hoping that kids will be so enamored of the very awfulness of it that they will overcome a parent's natural reluctance to spend seven bucks on something where the main selling point is "smells bad." Apparently the gamble paid off, though, because it seemed like half the kids on my block had one of these guys. B

Finally, speaking of The Masters of the Universe, a movie that displays Prince Adam's true nature, if you are patient enough to watch it and absorb its excellence:

Thursday, November 6, 2008

quote of the day (November 6, 2008)

Well, a lot can happen in two days since we last posted. We have a new president-elect, as Barack Obama will become the first African-American president ever. Quite a feat. Sean Connery has a message for the future President of the United States.

In other news, last night was the Mustaches for Kids Charlotte information session - we're currently sitting at 51 growers with only 6 days till the kickoff, er, shaving day. Last year, we had 82 growers, so we're hoping to find some additional brave souls willing to fuzz up their upper lip for the next month to raise money for It's good times and you'll never remember how stupid you looked. Except for all the pictures documenting it:

Speaking of mustaches, today's quote is from Legendary Mustached American Burt Reynolds:

"There are three stages of an actor`s career. Young, old, and "You look good".

Suffice it to say, when you have a one-week old mustache, you won't look good. But you will be doing something good for the world. So if you're in Charlotte (or in one of these other cities, sign up and grow. It's only 4 weeks - but the projects will make a huge difference in schoolchildren's lives. Word!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

quote of the day (Election Day 2008)

In case you weren't sure, today is Election Day here in the good ol' USA, and rather than say anything about this election - since everybody is undoubtedly sick of hearing about it. Just remember when you're voting to elect a leader who's not afraid to make a mistake.

There's still to write in George Oscar Bluth on your ballot!

In addition to the bold leadership of GOB's presidency, sometimes it also helps to remember our history and how it shapes events of today. Author/humorist Dave Barry shows how the USA's intervention in other countries' affairs is a long-standing tradition.

"The first major president to be elected after the War of 1812 was President Monroe Doctrine, who became famous by developing the policy for which he is named. This policy, which is still in effect today, states that:
(1)Other nations are not allowed to mess around with the internal affairs of nations in this hemisphere.
(2)But we are.

Dave Barry, in his book Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States

Finally, if you decide there's no candidate you prefer for ANY office, feel free to follow QOTD's lead by writing in Bill Pullman (or alternatively, Thomas Whitmore, Pullman's character in Independence Day) for every position on the ballot, including coroner and dog catcher.