So we're back for a second day in a row. This is going to be a shorter, more standard post. Maybe if we don't aim for long, drawn-out posts, we'll actually update this thing from time to time.
Anyway, tonight the entire QOTD bureau were out living it up at a birthday party for a 1 year old. Besides being generally adorable (and lethal to the structural integrity of his birthday cake), he got some tremendous birthday presents, including something awesome called Counting Maracas. Multiculturalism and numbers, together at last. As a society, we're seriously getting close to Hooked on Monkey Fonics:
Speaking of birthdays, I would like to lament in print (well, if you print this blog post out, it will be in print. Go ahead. I'll wait.) the passing of the greatest greeting card company ever, Squibnocket Cards. It was the card of choice here at QOTD, and we would distribute them for any occasion that called for a card (um, birthdays). Our favorite gift store, Paper Skyscraper (PLUG!) here in Charlotte used to carry them. I've always believed in the omnipotence of the internet, but apparently it's too much to ask to find an image of the love card that starts, "Here I am, rock me like a hurricane is just my way of saying we should probably go out sometime." It goes on to be even more awesome. Since I can't find that one, this one will have to do. Consider it your reward for a job well done:
Now that Squibnocket is out of business, I guess it's back to Garfield cards for us. I hear he hates Mondays, but loves lasagna! Comedy gold!
Anyway, onto today's quote, from the early standup of one of our favorites, Norm MacDonald:
"I used to be in good shape, when I was younger. Ah man, I looked good back then. You should've seen me back when I was like...one. That's when I looked good. One. Oh man, I was young and fresh. I could show you pictures of me from back then, and you wouldn't recognize me. I've gone to hell. Hell in a handbasket as my great uncle would say. I even looked good for my age then. People would come up to me and say, 'What are you, zero?' And I'd say, no, 'I'm one over here.' And they'd say, 'You don't look a day over zero.' And I'd say, 'No, I must insist, I'm one.'"
If there's one thing you can say about the QOTD Bureau (or, as we're known in some circles, the QOTWWFLI - Quote of Whenever We Feel Like It - Bureau), it's that we NEVER go more than 242 days without updating. NEVER.
So here we are again. Fall is once again upon us. OUR St. Louis Cardinals could become the first baseball team to clinch a playoff spot in the next couple of days. Indiana Hoosiers football is a front-runner for the BCS national title after their impeccable 3-0 start with victories over powerhouses Eastern Kentucky, Western Michigan, and the Akron Zips (on the road!). Next up for the Hoosiers, the Texas State Fightin' Armadillos with cagey veteran quarterback Paul Blake.
Is there literally nothing Sinbad can't do?
As many of our loyal reader(s) know, this has not been a banner year at QOTD Headquarters, for several reasons that we shan't go into now. But one of the constants that's kept us sane are some excellent youtube videos (insert hack joke about how we remember MTV when it played videos here. then make current by inserting Kanye West reference. now proceed.) One of our favorites is an early Rilo Kiley song featuring the very hot Jenny Lewis (we at QOTD love gingers. Um, and brunettes. And blondes. But especially gingers!) called The Frug:
In this song, she refers to being able to do The Freddie. If you're young enough to operate the internets, you probably have never heard of Freddie and the Dreamers. If you have, you might remember their one sizable hit, "I'm Telling You Now." Now watch this video of them performing this song (and the dance The Freddie) and remember to use this as a rebuttal whenever any older-type person tries to argue that today's popular music is ridiculous. (QOTD note: today's popular music is ridiculous. but still.)
Warning: Do not attempt to drink or eat while watching this video. QOTD is not responsible for any choking due to extreme lameness contained within.
And finally, for today's quote, in honor of all the abuse we took during our 8 month hiatus (yes, Jim, we're looking at you), from Season 2 of Flight of the Conchords:
"I make a meal for my friends Try to make it delicious Try to keep it nutritious Create wonderful dishes Not one of them thinks about the way I feel Nobody compliments the meal
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings I feel like a prize a**hole No one even mentions my casserole I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings"
Maybe we'll be back with more this week. Or maybe you should look for an update around Memorial Day 2010.
Today we're all over the place, but there is one common thread - we were lazy and are mostly just posting videos. It's two days in a row for the Not-Safe-for-Work QOTD postings. Well, only one of the videos below is not-safe-for-work, but it's so good that your boss will likely promote you if you watch it at work.
The aforementioned NSFW clip, a trailer for the upcoming Black Dynamite movie. We'll give you a second to digest its excellence:
Oh, look. It's a question from the audience. Question: Will the entire QOTD bureau be seeing this movie on opening night? Answer: Yes--we're actually typing this from a line in front of a movie theater waiting for its release. In fact, we might not have been this excited for a movie since Snakes on a Plane. And you all remember how well that movie turned out. Just as a reminder, a little Cobra Starship for your Friday:
We're getting a second Pink Panther movie where Steve Martin is an extremely pale imitation of Peter Sellers, but we're not getting a second Sam Jackson-fights-creatures-on-a-mode-of-transport movie? What is Hollywood thinking? Our favorite movie clip of the week comes from FishRockIt.com where a guy got his female friend to describe the plot of the original Star Wars trilogy (before George Lucas went insane) and then he animated her description. It's very funny:
Finally, for those people suffering through some winter cold, a little island gem from Warren Zevon (patron saint of QOTD), and his song "Hula Hula Boys", today's quote:
Yesterday she went to see The Polynesian band But she came home with her hair all wet And her clothes all filled with sand I didn't have to come to Maui To be treated like a jerk How do you think I feel When I see the bellboys smirk? And I can hear their ukuleles playing Down by the sea She's gone with the hula hula boys She don't care about me They're singing, Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana(translation: "sing the chorus", or "get to the point")
And now, a clip of Warren singing this song live in 1990 (sound only - unrelated pictures...):
We've fallen down on the job again. Although at least we're blogging a mere 6 days after our last post. It's amazing how much guilt goes with running a free Quote of "the Day" blog that has like three readers. Anyway, speaking of guilt, we should note that we forgot to mention one show whose return has also fired up the QOTD Bureau.
Scrubs
Now in its 8th season, Scrubs seems to have found a rebirth after its move from NBC to ABC, getting back to its more dramatic roots and away from the overly-wacky slapstick trend of the last few seasons. It doesn't hurt that they've brought in some new interns to spice things up, including a couple of former Flight of the Conchords guest stars, Eliza Coupe and Aziz Ansari. Coupe's Denise, a hot, heartless doctor with no bedside manner has been a particular standout. Witness this exchange with George, a dying patient played by the awesome Glynn Turman (Mayor Royce from The Wire:
DENISE: "Mr. Valentine, I’m Dr. Mahoney. My attending really wants me to connect with my patients, so if it’s OK with you, I thought I’d get the ball rolling with a personal story."
GEORGE: "OK. You can call me George."
DENISE: "Awesome. Feelin’ it. So, George, last Friday I’m at a bar. I take this guy home. He’s a little fat. Whatever, right? Plus, chubsters are so grateful, they usually try harder. Anyway, right in the middle of things, he’s sweating and grunting like a hairy rhino and I just start to hate myself. Really, really hate myself… So, without even thinking, I just head butt him right in the face. Bam. Clock him right between the eyes. Knock him out cold. So, that’s what I got. What you got going on?"
Classy. And since I mentioned a politician from The Wire, I totally have a reason to run a conversation between the hilarious Senator Clay Davis and the aforementioned Mayor Royce (not safe for work. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit!)
Anyway, this week's Scrubs episodes were pre-empted for some sort of inaugural ball or something. Really? As if that's news.
But seriously, as with almost every American these days, we here at QOTD certainly wish President Obama the best as he begins to take on some major problems. He certainly arrives with some huge expectations, as he is widely considered the best president since President Wayne Palmer ran on a platform of making America safe from terrorist threats, openness in government dealings, and hats for bats.
If people thought President Obama's choice of Rev. Rick Warren was controversial, you should have heard the outcry when President Palmer brought his JoBu statue to his State of the Union address!
Hmmm. Yes. Gone for a month. We were somewhat tired out from all that mustache-growing, and our typing fingers were tired from twirling our mustache, cackling evilly and tying young maidens to train tracks.
Court-room drawing of how QOTD spent its last month
Anyway, we did promise our readers a picture of our mustache on its last day before it fell victim to a rampaging Gillette Fusion razor (both with and without the rest of the Fidel Castro costume):
Don't hate us because we're beautiful.
Lots going on with the favorite TV shows of QOTD, many of which are coming back this week after long layoffs. Sadly, Arrested Development remains dead, but there have been very positive developments on the production of an AD movie. Good times, even if Michael Cera (George Michael Bluth) is being a bit of a Rude Gus about his involvement in the film.
24 Jack Bauer is back fighting terrorists using his three biggest weapons: torture, the ability to whisper-yell, and the ability to rise from the dead (twice and counting in the season's 6 years). And, spoiler alert, you have a good 3 1/2 months before you have to endure the return of his daughter Kim! What's not to like?
Lost The island done moved, and Michael finally died last year, meaning we won't have to hear him yell, "WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLT!" any more. Nothing really to add here, except that the return of this show is highly anticipated in the QOTD bureau...
Hey WALLLLLLLLLT! Your dad is deader than a parrot nailed to its perch!
Flight of the Conchords
FotC returns to HBO this Sunday night in the aftermath of the Crazy Dogggz worldwide success and band manager Murray splitting time between the two bands. QOTD obtained an advance copy of the premiere episode (um, along with like everyone else) and can tell our faithful readers that it's a standout - the song "Angels" featured over the end credits is a huge winner.
The Conchords sing "Angels". As a bonus, it's a video that doesn't actually show moving pictures!
Friday Night Lights
Now that both Arrested Development and Pushing Daisies are pushing up their own daisies, Friday Night Lights ranks as the best show on network TV that no one seems to watch. It's a fabulous look at life in a small-town Texas town and its beloved high school football team. The relationship between the coach and his wife is a joy to watch, and it also features the hottest cast on TV. If you're into that sort of thing. FNL returns this Friday night on NBC. Watch it.
If this picture wasn't so small, you could tell we weren't lying about that "hottest cast on TV" thing. Alas.
And finally, a plug for an internet-only TV show from Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
This was a three-episode show put together during the writers' strike, and is a musical following the travails of wannabe-supervillain Dr. Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) as he battles smug do-gooder Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion) in order to gain access to the Evil League of Evil, ruled by Bad Horse, the Thoroughbred of Sin. It's all quite silly, but it has its dramatic moments, and the songs will grow on you till you're singing them all day long. Or that could just be us. Anyway, credit to QOTD Sargeant-at-Arms Javad Khazaeli for sending this our way. We can't recommend it enough. We could embed the video from Hulu, but it'd be too small and crappy to enjoy, so just go to this link to watch it for yourself: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Hulu
For today's long-awaited (ahem) quote of the day, we'll go with the letter Bad Horse sends Dr. Horrible upon his application for entry to the Evil League of Evil:
"Bad Horse, Bad Horse Bad Horse, Bad Horse He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin He got the application that you just sent in It needs evaluation, so let the games begin A heinous crime, a show of force (a murder would be nice of course)
Bad Horse, Bad Horse Bad Horse, he’s bad The Evil league of Evil is watching so beware The grade that you receive’ll be your last, we swear So make the bad horse gleeful, or he’ll make you his mare You’re saddled up; there’s no recourse It’s “hi-ho, silver!” Signed, Bad Horse."
"I'm talkin' bout you, and me, and 'Stache, simultaneous..."
Who's the pasty white guy who's a sex machine to all the chicks? 'Stache! You're damn right...
Who is the man Who would risk his upper lip for his brother man? 'Stache! Can ya dig it?
Who's the cat who won't cop out When there's ridicule all about? 'Stache! Right on
You see, this cat 'Stache is a hairy mutha... Shut yo' mouth! But I'm talkin' 'bout 'Stache! Then we can dig it!
He's a complicated man But no one understands him like his woman... 'Stache Bash!
Okay, if that doesn't have you fired up for tonight's 'Stache Bash, you're a lost cause. See you tonight - I'll be the guy who looks like Fidel Castro, if Castro had a $5 beard from a costume shop. Pictures tomorrow.
It is indeed the final countdown. Just over 28 hours until the beginning of the 'Stache Bash, our finale party of the Mustache Growing Season, with almost $220,000 raised nationwide. Pretty amazing. And our Charlotte brutes have now jumped to almost $48,000.
In other news, our fightin' Charlotte Bobcats have traded away Jason Richardson and Jared Dudley, leaving us with approximately 1.5 scorers on a team that already couldn't score.
In still other news, I'm thinking about throwing my hat into the ring for Illinois Senator. We here at QOTD Headquarters are surprised that alert reader/QOTD Sargeant-at-Arms Javad Khazaeli hasn't already surfaced as Candidate 6 in the Blagojevich scandal. It's possible all the facts haven't come out yet.
In honor of the Final Countdown, today's QOTD comes from Europe's inane lyrics to the song:
"Oh, We're heading for Venus and still we stand tall cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all, yeah with so many light years to go and things to be found (to be found) I'm sure that we'll all miss her so It's the final countdown..."
FINALLY, and most importantly, I'd like to do a quick honor roll for all of the generous folks who have donated to my mustache cause as of 3pm on December 11 (these will be deleted off this blog in a couple of weeks to avoid having this page show up when they are googled for the rest of time):
Jim and Linda Roberts, Dan Cornell, Andy Jackson, Marj Wagner, Katie Doll, Jane Searson, Dr. Will Ballard, Daren and Averie Millstead, Lindsey Gerrity, Sarah Peters, Andrew Crawford, Kevin Doll, Julie Roberts (OFoQOTD), Ellen Wiese Thompson, Josh and Anise Farmer, Katie Engen, Matt and Kelly Sproul, Karl Heinz, Brooke Roetgerman, Amanda Weable, Javad Khazaeli (Candidate 6), Jennifer Vruwink, Meghan Norman, Mariann Witkowski, Carolyn Cox, Amy Clark, Brian Williams, Tim Edmond, John Borgmeyer, Martha Roesler, Tim Coover, Katie Van Hook, Courtney Taylor, Andy Klump, Kerry Feld, Kate Gauthier, my mother and father, Amy Burgess, Ashley Crawford, Mollie Farrell, Jared Yerg (founder of Beards BeCAUSE, and Tom Searson.
Thank you to all - you have seriously made this mustache campaign worthwhile. I will post a final pic of me dressed as Castro with my 'stache tomorrow.
...is not just the name of an ill-conceived Eddie Murphy/Nick Nolte sequel. That's the amount of time I have left with my mustache this year.
Due to some exceedingly generous individuals, my fundraising total has jumped from $1,050 to $1,885 in the past week. We're still hoping to crack the $2,000 mark before the 48 hours pass.
Speaking of 48 hours, in 48 hours the 'Stache Bash will be in full swing, with many of the mustache growers in costume click to see last year's. I'm not looking to win any awards, so I've decided to go as Fidel Castro this year, primarily because I already own most of the costume, with the exception of the cigars (I'm pretty sure Castro smokes Swisher Sweets, right?). Come by Connolly's on 5th on Friday night to join us. $10 entry (all money goes to the charity) gets some free food and beer specials.
MMMmmmm...cherry flavor!!
Speaking of Cuba (this is a Keith Hernandez-level stretch), today's QOTD:
"I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark When he made Pearl Harbor I miss you more than that movie missed the point And that's an awful lot girl And now, now you've gone away And all I'm trying to say is Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you
I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school He was terrible in that film I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part He's way better than Ben Affleck And now all I can think about is your smile and that sh*tty movie too Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you
Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?"
--Lyrics from "Pearl Harbor", a song from Team America: World Police
Four more days till I can shave this small, mammal-looking thing off the top of my lip. I'm certainly happy about that, but the OFoQOTD is REALLY happy about it. She rarely lets on, even going so far as to claim she likes the mustache. She's convincing enough that she probably should have testified on behalf of the Detroit auto companies in front of Congress.
In boxing news, Oscar de la Hoya was soundly defeated by the younger, smaller Manny Pacquiao on Saturday night. Pacquiao's domination was hard to believe, but it's even worse if you see the clips:
If only Apollo Creed had Doc Louis in his corner instead of Rocky, he'd never have died against Ivan "Death from Above" Drago.
And now for today's mustache moment, speaking of boxing, one of the earliest known boxing champions was John L. Sullivan, who sported a bad-ass handlebar mustache. He won some 450 fights in his career, including many of the bare-knuckle variety. That didn't stop the doubters, as Sullivan noted in 1905:
"'Your hands are too big; you'll never make a boxer,' was one of the bits of discouragement passed to me when I was beginning to attract notice as a puncher."
One of his most-celebrated fights was his bare-knuckle bout against Jake Kilrain. Although times looked bad for Sullivan when he vomited in his corner in the 44th round, he recovered enough to force Kilrain's manager to throw in the towel after the 75th round. (Rounds were not the standard 3 minutes - they ended whenever a fighter fell or was knocked down - but the fight still lasted well over 2 hours. Mustached guys are apparently tough-asses.)
For a final note that combines mustaches, boxing, Punch-Out and fundraising (of a sort), try this movie:
Remember, only four days till the 'Stache Bash this Friday night at Connolly's. Please come out to support the cause - and take the last chance to see my very own Von Kaiser-style 'Stache before it dies a dignified death...
Our blog title today pays homage to QOTD's favorite dead show walking, Pushing Daisies, which will soon follow in the footsteps of Arrested Development, Veronica Mars, Deadwood, Freaks & Geeks and Thunder in Paradise as QOTD favorite shows that died too early.
Speaking of things that are ending, our brothers-in-facial-hair-fundraising, Beards BeCAUSE are having their finale party tonight. My mustache, my lady and I will all be making an appearance to support them in their second extremely successful season. They are growing beards to benefit the United Family Services Shelter for battered women. There are so many hairy-faced men walking around Charlotte these days that Sasquatch reports have risen 400% in the last year.
A typical scene from a Charlotte city park.
Speaking of mustaches and parties, Jonathan Quayle Higgins III, aka Higgins (John Hillerman) in Magnum, P.I. has some wonderful advice for people going out this evening:
"Don't ruin my whiskey with Ice! I'm not a bloody American!"
Now that Squibnocket is out of business, I guess it's back to Garfield cards for us. I hear he hates Mondays, but loves lasagna! Comedy gold!
