Thursday, October 16, 2008

it quotes from something when it's told, or else it gets the hose again (October 16, 2008)

What are you, about a size 14?

Despite the fact that we at QOTD are basically lovable, swell guys who are known to shower at least bi-weekly, we sometimes have disagreements with our many fans. Sometimes these disagreements can be vehement (e.g. someone says Entourage is funnier than Arrested Development - note, this is only a fictional example. No such person exists.) and sometimes these disagreements can be minor (e.g. someone thinks Joe Don Baker's work in Mitchell is excellent, but I think Joe Don Baker's work in Mitchell makes him the Olivier of our time.).

One example of a major disagreement that comes up surprisingly often in my life is a difference of opinion between the Official Girlfriend of QOTD (OGoQOTD) and me over Silence of the Lambs character Jame Gumb (better known as Buffalo Bill).

This is a true photo of OGoQOTD reacting to my joy while thinking about Mr. Gumb's absurd antics:

Sure, it's true that he's a serial killer. That's generally not cool. And it's also true that he would throw his victims down a well, starve them and then kill them so he could make a skin suit for himself. This is also behavior that is frowned upon by polite society.

However, despite these character flaws, he also has these wonderful traits**:

--tucks his junk between his legs and dances around in a kimono
--has a little yappy dog he calls Precious
--talks in a ludicrously low, creaky voice
--uses some of the most ridiculous lines ever, including his fabulous "lotion in the basket" routine

Suffice it to say, if you can do a passable imitation of the character while saying any of these lines, know that you'll get a huge laugh from the QOTD bureau. (You just might get punched in the throat by OGoQOTD)

"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

"Don't you hurt my dog!"

"It places the lotion in the basket. PUT THE F---ING LOTION IN THE BASKET!!"

Anyway, alert reader Mike Bufkin sent the following song to our attention. The song is called "Lotion" (hmmm, guess what it's about?), and it's the brilliant work of a Chicago-based band called The Greenskeepers. Amazingly, it appeared in an episode of Grey's Anatomy, which makes us want to take back everything bad we've ever said about that show (even though we've never seen it). It is NOT safe for work. But it is very funny. If you're the sort of person who giggles when Jame Gumb appears on screen, that is.

Amy Winehouse wins multiple Grammy Awards, and this doesn't even get nominated? Conspiracy!!

**QOTD in no way endorses any of Jame Gumb's behaviors in the real world. Although if you want to name your dog Precious and dance around in a kimono, feel free. Just don't invite us to your parties.


Julie said...

Is this a test to see if I still read this thing? I think I passed - but will probably punch you in the throat the next time I see you. We're on a break.

Bill Wild said...

Since when is being a serial killer not cool?