Monday, November 10, 2008

quote of the day (November 10, 2008): the Brunching Shuttlecocks tribute

Another classic from the Brunching Shuttlecocks...

A quick post today in tribute to the late, great Brunching Shuttlecocks website - which shut down 5 years ago. First off, a belated Halloween adventure: Choose Your Own Serial Murder gives you the chance to play a Scream-like character bent on killing a semi-nude teenager. It's very funny, takes only minutes to play, and is completely text-based - safe for work.

Another excellent page, but less safe for work, is the quiz Porn Star or My Little Pony?, where you have to guess whether the names listed are adult film stars or the names of My Little Pony. Feel free to comment below with your score. For reference, we here at QOTD scored a reprehensible 4 out of 12. We know our educated audience can do better.

Finally, the site was best known for its ratings, where they would give A through F ratings to a vast array of different items, things as varied as breakfast cereals, Three's Company characters, and card games. Today's quote comes from their ratings on He-Man characters:

An incredibly muscular blond guy in a breechcloth and a page boy. On this planet he'd be stripping for tips in North Beach, but on Eternia he fights deformed animal guys and delivers homilies on the value of cooperation. Location, location, location. My real difficulty with He-Man is that his secret identity -- "Prince Adam," which is a porn name if I ever heard one -- was nothing more than a change of outfit and a whiny voice. He didn't even bother with the Clark Kent eyeglass move, for God's sake. C-

One of the neighborhood kids -- when I was young and actually playing with action figures, as opposed to just having them -- was convinced that the name "Man-At-Arms" was composed of the first name "Man-At" and the last name "Arms." As if he was the child of Hank and Brenda Arms, an art-loving couple who tried to name their son after Manet but missed by a vowel. Still, considering that the character's real first name was "Duncan," my friend's delusion was a marked improvement. B

You have to admire the design chutzpah that went into creating this molded plastic marriage of action-packed fun and unpleasant odor. When you make something like this, you're hoping that kids will be so enamored of the very awfulness of it that they will overcome a parent's natural reluctance to spend seven bucks on something where the main selling point is "smells bad." Apparently the gamble paid off, though, because it seemed like half the kids on my block had one of these guys. B

Finally, speaking of The Masters of the Universe, a movie that displays Prince Adam's true nature, if you are patient enough to watch it and absorb its excellence:

1 comment:

Kate C. said...

I only got 1 out of 12 and I grew up watching the cartoon on Saturday mornings and playing with My Little Pony! We even had the My Little Pony beauty salon.