Sunday, September 18, 2011

Schadenfreude Week!

Long-time readers of QOTD (is there another kind?) know that we often enjoy a nice wallow in the misery of others. Specifically the makers of really bad entertainment. This song from the Broadway show Avenue Q pretty much sums up our feelings on the subject. (note: you may want to take Dramamine if you're planning on watching this - the camerawork is pretty Cloverfield)

Since we're always excited to spend some time reviewing crap in pop culture, we thought we'd go ahead and dedicate this second week of our return to focusing on some junk - present and past.

Behold, the Citizen Kane for a new generation!

Recently, a historic film ("an historic film" to our British friends) was foisted upon the unsuspecting movie-going public. This quality pic came from the esteemed Happy Madison production company, whose previous efforts Zookeeper and Just Go With It scored 14% and 20% positive reviews according to Rotten Tomatoes. This movie, Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star has a record-tying Rotten Tomatoes score of 0%. That means that they couldn't find one blogger/reviewer willing to provide a positive review in return for an autographed Mr. Deeds poster. Not only were the overall ratings universally negative, but the average reviewer rating was 1.6 out of 10. Truly an amazing display of putridity, and one that makes us wish we were strong enough to sit through it. Apparently the story of an imbecilic, buck-toothed Iowan who dreams of being a porn star, though a very common tale, is not the Oscar fare you'd think. It's directed by Tom Brady, by the way (not making this up). Though it's probably not the Patriots quarterback with the flowing locks and the supermodel wife, we're going to go ahead and pretend it is anyway. Because we hate the cheating Patriots.

Bieber lookalike AND Bucky Larson director? Way more impressive than those 900 yards of passing this season...

So, for your reading pleasure, some reviews of this quality entertainment:

First, from, Dan Kois' Razzie Award watch column, dedicated to predicting the winners of the Razzie awards, claims that Bucky Larson is a runaway favorite for Worst Movie. From his article:

"Here are 10 scenes that tell us Bucky Larson has the right mix of no-good awfulness and mortifying stupidity and B-list actors doing far from their best work to become a Razzie champ.

1. The scene in which a guy smears peanut butter on his genitals and has his pet goat lick it off. (Note: This is the first scene of the movie.)"

Andrew Barker, from Variety writes: "Adam Sandler's Happy Madison production shingle often alternates between the star's own, bigger-budgeted vehicles and decidedly downmarket pics featuring his buddies. The latter category reaches an almost impossibly low nadir with the Nick Swardson-starring porn-industry comedy "Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star," one of the most astonishingly unfunny films of this or any other year."

"This may be the worst movie Pauly Shore has ever been in. Think about that. If you dare, go on Netflix and test the hypothesis."
--A.O. Scott from the New York Times

"This movie is taking poorly written stabs at all kinds of different communities without showing any affection for any of them. The best kind of comedy comes from even the smallest amount of endearment, and this movie has none, leaving it a black smoking crater of bad, unfunny juju."
--Grae Drake from

Summing things up is Matt Singer from Time Out New York:

"Every paid admission should include a T-shirt that reads, i saw bucky larson and all i got was this dead feeling inside."

QOTD would wear that t-shirt.

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